Holiday stress and photo play

There's not too much going on at Chez I Candy besides the hustle and bustle of getting ready for Christmas! I have all my out of town packages shipped, the presents are wrapped, Christmas cards are sent, and most of the laundry (but none of the packing) is done. I always manage to get pretty stressed before Christmas but I am relived when it is almost here and most of the work is done for better or for worse.

So I didn't make handmade cards this year, that's okay. The extra time was another moment that I could spend connecting with my family. I didn't make those cookies that I wanted to try this year, oh well, that's something to look forward to next year.

Buck turned 38 on Monday. He requested a yellow cake with vanilla frosting. I didn't realize until right before we sang and did candles that we are missing an "8" candle so I had to do 35 and add 3 single candles. It looked pretty sad....

One thing I have been doing lately is playing with my camera. Jensen had a DSLR and since we talked photography a lot I knew he would want me to have it. I don't have the manual or the software that goes with it but I am slowly learning how to use it. Ian has been a patient model for me while I play around.

Merry Christmas!

Holy crap! I saw Rachael Ray!

Last night we went to a book signing for Rachael Ray's new book (Just in Time). Buck's cousin (CC) is crazy about her and so she and her mom drove seven hours to see her.

The signing started at 7:30ish and the line-up started at 6, so by the time we got our stuff signed and we were on the way home it was 8:20. We were put into 3 groups to wait for a signature, and we were lucky enough to be in the first group. I felt sorry for everyone waiting when I saw how the line snaked all over the store!

Rachael was really chatty and nice and she told CC that she was beautiful which made her day. Rachael is really cute and looked just the same in person as on TV. I only managed to get crappy pictures because I had to stand about 20' away and behind a stanchion to take pictures. The fluorescent lights didn't help matters.

Rachael shook CC's hand as we left the signing. On the way to the car CC said, "I have Rachael Ray on my hand. I am never going to stop sniffing it!" She always makes me laugh my ass off....

It's beginning to look a lot like...

Christmas!

We bought our tree last night and spent the evening decorating the tree and the house. The Advent calendar is filled with treats, the stockings are hung (by the chimney with care), the lights are up inside.

I can't for the life of me seem to get a decent picture of my Christmas tree. I did get a picture of my most favorite part of the tree though-my garland.

When I was a little girl we lived in the same town as my grandparents and so we spent Christmas morning at our house and then went to "Fort Evergreen" as my Grandpa called their place, in the afternoon. I loved to dance around their living room, admiring the decorations and especially the candy garland on the Christmas tree. It looked like lifesavers and of course I had to taste it just to make sure it wasn't real. It is plastic, glittery, kinda tacky and was probably made in the 60s but nothing says Christmas to me like that garland on my tree! When my grandma died 3 years ago it was one of the only things I asked for from the house.

This weekend Buck will have his annual "Rednecks on the roof" party. This is when he dons a "Buckzilla" shirt and a bunch of his friends come over to drink beer, eat NC barbecue, and listen to redneck Christmas music while putting our lights up on the roof and around the house.

We enjoyed a marvelous day with Evie and her boys today. I was treated to Iain the Human Pretzel:


and Luigi:










Ian and I had such a good time with our friends. Iain and Ryan always play so well with Ian even though he is younger than they are. They hunted zombie aliens and played with castles and legos and all kinds of fun stuff. Ryan and Ian invaded Evie's jewelry box for magic rings and artifacts and she was so patient and generous with them to let them use her pretty things.

Evie and I got to chat for a long time which was so fun for me. It is wonderful to have a friend who is an unschooler like me since I don't seem to know many at home. I just wish we lived closer to each other so we could meet up more than once every month! Thanks for inviting us, Evie.

Happy Birthday Jensen

Today would have been my sweet brother's 33rd birthday. I still can't believe that he's not here to celebrate it. I bought him a card. I felt weird not getting one this year-like it would mean denying that he ever existed if I didn't. I don't know what I will do with it though.

I am really sad today and missing Jensen like crazy. I got one of those birthday reminder e-mails today for Johnson O. He must have filled it out that way a long time ago and so I got a chuckle out of it. He was always doing stuff like that.

My sister sent me the CD of his funeral (did you know they record funerals now? I didn't). I haven't listened to it yet but it reminded me of some funny stories people have told about him. One friend talked about a day they were going to the mall as teenagers. They drove to our house to get Jensen and he came out wearing shorts and he had shaved vertical stripes on his legs just to make his friends laugh. Another guy told about a time in college when they were sitting around in the cafeteria. Jensen walked pretending he had a racket on his shoulder and said, "Anyone for squash?" in an overdone British accent. The guy who told the story was looking for a name for his band at the time so he chose Anyone for Squash.

I guess the worst part of today is that I am gaining on Jensen. For as long as I've been alive he has been around and he was always my older brother. I am still 2 years behind but pretty soon I won't be. I think my 33rd birthday will be really hard because then I will be older than he ever was. My life will move on and I will get older and he will always be young. It seems wrong to me.

From the first time I saw him (I don't have a picture of that) to the last time I saw him (I do, unfortunately, have a pic of that-I didn't know it would be the last time I saw him. It is the one of us with Jensen in the green coat) I have always loved him, looked up to him, and known he was special. Today is no different.

Wonderful Moments

Stephanie came up with a great idea. She challenged bloggers to write down 10 or so wonderful moments from this week in their life as parents. I thought it was such a great idea that I borrowed it.

I am really loving this challenge because it helps me look back over my days with Ian in a sweet, loving context. Also, I am waking up each morning with joy and anticipation in my heart wondering, "What lovely things will happen today?"

Here are just a few wonderful moments from this week:

Sunday Oct 28: As I was getting Ian out of his car seat at McDonald's I mis-judged the top of the door frame and totally hit my head as I bent over to undo his belt. As I was trying not to cuss out loud (I failed) and trying not to cry because it hurt so much Ian said, "Oh, Mama, you hurt yourself. Where does it hurt?" I pointed to the spot on the top of my head and he kissed it better. And it WORKED!

Monday Oct 29: On the way home from playing at the airport observation deck Ian started talking about Buck. "I miss Daddy. I want to see him at work. I want him to come home with us." When I explained that Buck had to finish his work day and couldn't just kick off at 2 he said, "Well, then I want to stay with him 'til he leaves." We stopped by work and visited Buck. He couldn't leave just then but he did take some time to play trains with us so Ian was happy.

Tuesday Oct 30: After a long, full day with a party (where he told us,"This is a good party!") and a bit of trick-or-treating (some towns here are celebrating Halloween on Tuesday this year) we snuggled at home under a blanket on the couch to watch some TV. Ian was in Buck's lap and he started nodding off. He smiled as he fell asleep and he looked so peaceful and happy to be where he was. I absolutely love moments like this!

Wednesday Oct 31: Halloween was fun because this was Ian's first year to go trick-or-treating. It was a joy to watch him walk around in his costume in the dark collecting candy. It reminded me so much of the fun I used to have as a kid. We went with his "girlfriend" who kept asking him, "Ian, are we married yet?", to which he would reply, "No! Not YET! We aren't big enough!"

Thursday November 1st: Today we saw some friends we haven't been able to see in several months. We spent the whole day at their house and Ian and I had a blast. For me it was great to catch up with my friend. The best part of the day though was probably when Ian and his friend ran across the lawn with their arms outstretched to give each other a big hug.

Friday November 2: Today's wonderful moment didn't start off well and it really applies more to me than to Ian. We went to a local forest with another Ian and his mom and brother. The 2 Ians kept running ahead of us on the trail and at first I tried to yell for mine to come back. After a bit though I realized that Ian was smart and he kept choosing good places to stop and wait for me to catch up, I trust him and so yelling at him wasn't extending that trust to him or in his ability to make his own choices, and yelling sounded horrible and was just silly! So I stopped. My Ian and I had a lot more fun after that. This was a wonderful moment for me because it is another time that I silenced my fears and doubts and got my parenting self back where I want to be.

Another wonderful moment was around dinner time when Ian was playing with fridge letter magnets. He told me he was writing 'My little pony' and then told me he wants "too much My Little Ponies." Too much to Ian means a lot; more that he can hold in his hands. He has one MLP doll now that is plush and about the size of a Care Bear. He takes good care of Rainbow Dash and loves to cuddle him or rock him to sleep. Rainbow Dash is just one of a lot of Ian's interests. He loves Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, knights, cars, mama and baby animal sets, cowboys, books, movies, etc...I just like that he sees MLP as one of many fun choices.

Saturday November 3: We met Buck's mom and cousin at the mall in Winston-Salem. Ian found an old photo booth and wanted to get his picture taken. At the last minute he asked me to be in the picture with him (as well as Baby Dinosaur). It was really fun and reminded me of being a kid. The top picture is missing because we gave it to Grammy.

Sunday November 4: This morning while we were waking up Ian got really close to my face, put his hands on my cheeks and said, "Stay here with me. I like you!" Then he kissed me on the forehead. :) I am sick today and as Buck left for a sword fight this morning Ian ran in the room and said, "I will take care of you, Mama!"

So, there is just a sampling of moments from this week. It was such a busy week! We normally like to have a day or two where we lay low and hang out at the house but it was fun to see lots of friends and we had lots of adventures. It was hard for me to narrow my list of moments down for this entry. I consider this to be a great week. I wonder what wonderful moments will happen next week?

Today

By request, here is our zombie graveyard. My hubby is the tall one in the middle!











Here's another picture just because I think it is really cute.

Meme

So Evie tagged me with a meme. I am supposed to list 10 weird things about myself. Weirdness is in the eye of the beholder. Hmmm...I hope I can stop at 10!

1. I was almost traded for 10 camels once in Saudi Arabia. No really! A Saudi guy offered my step-dad camels in exchange for my (11 year old) hand in marriage. Thank goodness he declined the offer, but he did get some usage out of it as a threat later on: "If you don't behave I will sell you for 10 camels!"

2. I don't like any fruits with the word "berry" or "melon" in their names. I am starting to come around on strawberries though. I think it is a texture thing for me and it all goes back to the super taster thing I mentioned before. Watermelon especially grosses me out. All those stringy fibers make me feel yucky.

3. I sucked my thumb until I was 12. I can't believe I just admitted that. My family did everything they could think of to get me to stop. I lived in fear of falling asleep with my thumb in my mouth during a sleepover. One day I just decided to stop on my own and I did.

4. I like to go to the movies by myself. I don't really think this is weird but I have been told in the past that it is. I love the whole movie-going experience so it isn't a big deal to me if I don't have someone else there to enjoy it with me. Of course I love going to the movies with Buck and Ian and friends. I just don't mind going alone.

5. I have never dyed my hair. I don't think this one is particularly weird either but I can't think of anyone I know who hasn't dyed their hair by the time they were 30. No Sun-In, no kool-aid, nothing.

6. I am pretty good at remembering numbers. I have a knack for remembering phone numbers and birthdays, addresses and social security numbers. I still remember the social security number of a co-worker from 10 years ago. When I was 16 and I worked at Office Max I used to memorize the credit card numbers of repeat customers.

7. I got married in the UFO capital of the UK (but not on purpose). Buck and I got married in Bonnyrigg, Scotland. When we got home we read that Bonnyrigg is home to the most UFO sightings in the whole United Kingdom! Cool.

8. I have written in a paper journal almost every day since I turned 18. I am on volume 36 now. I tried to keep a diary when I was a kid and I just never kept with it. Something just clicked when I turned 18 and I have been writing ever since.

9. I don't know how to put on make-up. I feel like there is a gene for being able to do make-up and hair that I am missing. I feel that I look like a prostitute whenever I try to wear make-up. I don't know what I am doing. Also, I could never figure out how to do the high bangs in eighth grade. At the time it was a tragedy. Nowadays, I don't mind.

10. Sometimes I think of tastes and smells as having sounds. It is hard to explain but I associate certain tastes (like mint and stew and bell peppers) and smells (like cinnamon and cloves and grass) with sounds.

I don't know who to tag so if you read this post consider yourself tagged. You're it!

Folk Festival

We visited this in-laws again this weekend. Ian and I tend to go a lot. Ian loves his Grammy and being out on the "farm" where they live. Buck was able to come with us this time. I like it when he can come with us :) The local Folk Festival was happening while we were in town so we decided to go on Sunday.

The first thing we noticed about the fair was that it was unnaturally hot! The leaves on the trees hadn't even really started to change.

We wandered through the crowds and the booths, admiring the crafts, jewelry, furniture, art, and people. I found lots of things I liked but I was indecisive so I left empty-handed. I wish I had been more vocal about wanting to go back and look at certain booths. I am pretty good about making sure Ian gets to do the things he wants to do but I am not always as mindful about my own wants. I was fascinated by all the detail and love that the craftsmen put into their wares.

Ian wanted to ride a pony. He rode one named Flicka and had a great time. He was a little bit nervous but he loved his pony, the saddle and the experince. He didn't care for the helmet though.

We sat down in the shade of a cherry tree for lunch. Everyone went to different food stalls to get their favorites. While we were eating Ian told us that he wanted a ribbon stick. We had seen a few kids waving brightly painted sticks with ribbons on the end and Ian thought they were cool. I asked him where we could find them and without any hesitation he said, "In the big barn!" The big barn was our next destination. We hadn't been there yet and we couldn't see the entrance. The barn was where the dancing and singing was held. There were also booths inside and Folk Festival shirts for sale there. As soon as we walked inside we saw a boy with a ribbon stick. I asked him where he bought it and sure enough he pointed to a stall about 20 feet away! Ian was right! I asked him how he knew they would be there and he said, "Because I wanted one." Wow. I wish I could be that sure of myself. Seriously.

We bought kettle corn and wandered around some more. Ian walked around with Grammy a bit. When he saw us again several minutes later he ran up to us singing his Transformers song at the top of his lungs. It is so fun to watch him learn and grow and share things he is passionate about with us.









We didn't stay at the festival for long but it was such a treat to be together, chatting and laughing (and sweating!) and holding hands with loved ones.





P.S. Thanks to Stephanie for her help in figuring out how to do the photo merge thing in Photoshop!

No food wars here

When we began unschooling we decided not to limit food choices or quantity for Ian. I grew up in a house where I had to eat everything even if I didn't like it and now I am a very (very, very) picky eater. My husband grew up being able to make his own choices about what he wanted to eat and even where he wanted to eat it (when he was 4 and 5 he didn't like his food to touch so he requested separate plates and utensils for each dish). Nowadays he will eat almost anything.

This may just be a coincidence. I don't really know. I am half convinced that I am a super taster like the They Might Be Giants song and that might be why I am so picky.

We trust Ian and we feel that only he knows his body. Only he knows when he is hungry and when he is full, what his body is craving and when to stop eating.

It has been a joy lately to watch him make food choices. The other day right as we sat down to a meal of pork chops, bread and salad he told me he wanted mint chocolate chip ice cream. At first I was hesitant to give it to him. I started feeling angry because I had just spent time making this nice meal and I wanted him to eat what I prepared! I took breath and realized I wasn't letting him make his own choices (and I was being silly) so I fixed him a bowl. He sat down happily with us to eat his ice cream. When he was nearly finished, he pushed the bowl away and announced, "I want to eat my dinner now." Wow! I didn't expect that one.

Today he asked for gummy bears. I put a large hand full in a bowl. He ate a few, I ate a few. He soon handed me the bowl and said, "I don't want these anymore." I put them aside in case he wants them later. He might. He might not.

I am just amazed at his choices at 3.5 years old. I am 30 and I don't have that much willpower! I suppose for him it's not willpower though. He really just doesn't want any more. He knows that if he does want more they are available and no one will tell him that he can't have them. Freedom of choice makes all the difference in the world.

Ebay happiness

While we were at Live and Learn (I know, I know, I need to write a post about it!) Ian spied an egg and spoon race game on the raffle table. He really wanted it and mentioned it a lot. Buck and I tried to put lots of tickets in the bag to increase our odds of winning but we didn't win. Ian was pretty disappointed so we talked about ways we might buy it at home. I looked at Target since it was the Play Wonder brand that they carry, but they didn't stock it anymore. I found it on ebay but the auction had just begun.

At the end of the week we won the auction and the coveted prize arrived today! He was overjoyed to have his toy arrive and I was too! We quickly opened the box and began playing. We have found lots of uses for it besides just having egg and spoon races. The spoons can be lined up, the eggs can be cooked and served to mom, the egg shells can hold treasures, the egg shells can be stacked.

I am so glad that we are living this unschooling life. A couple of years ago I would have just dismissed his idea as just a temporary want and I would have disregarded it. I never would have gone out of my way to find it for him unless he kept "bugging" me about it. Even then I might just tell him that it was too bad that we didn't get it and we just couldn't find it without even looking for it.

I will be forever grateful to people like Sandra Dodd and Pam Sorooshian for putting information about radical unschooling out there, for living it and for continuing to write about it. Our lives are changed forever and definitely for the better. Of course we have day-to-day crap like everyone else but life with my kid is so much more fun and peaceful than I ever thought it could be!

Oh, and of course Hi-Q joined in on the egg-spoon fun. He is always a part of our play!

It worked! Episode II: Water and Popcorn

Once when Ian was having a hard day I asked him what I could do for him to help calm him down next time he felt out of control. He told me I could get him some water to drink. We got to test that one out this morning. He was upset when I got back from my run and I wasn't lying next to him anymore. His anger started escalating and he really seemed stuck in his discomfort so I asked him if he would like some water. He immediately stopped yelling and said yes. I got him a drink, he took one sip, and within about 2 minutes he was smiling and telling me that I was his sunshine! I swear that my kid has the best ideas!

Around lunch I asked what he wanted to eat. "Copcorn!" he shouted. I made a big bowl of popcorn and put his in a special Shrek bowl. We cuddled under "Big Blue" (a blanket made by my grandma that is both big and blue) and watched "Goonies." It is amazing to me how much joy there is in our house when I simply listen to Ian and say yes. If he were in pre-school he couldn't ask for popcorn for lunch and we definitely couldn't cuddle every day.

While we were in Lowe's the other day a cashier told me to value this time with him while I can. She said that the day her son went to kindergarten was the last time she was allowed to hug him, and her 13-year-old daughter won't even talk to her. I just told her that I do cherish the time I have with him, but I don't worry at all about him not wanting to spend time with me. And I don't.

It worked!

In my never-ending quest to be a better mama and a better person, I ask my son for advice on my behavior. I figure that he is one of the best people I know so I bet he will have a good idea for me.

Last week I yelled at him for some stupid thing that I don't even remember. After I calmed down and breathed I came back to him and I apologized and asked him, "What do you think I could do next time I start to yell at you so that I calm down and don't yell at you?" He smiled and immediately told me that I could, "sing the sunshine song!" The 'sunshine song' is "You are my sunshine" and it's one of our favorites. I sing it to him pretty much every day and if I forget he reminds me to sing it.

So, yesterday he was eating mint chocolate chip ice cream on the couch and after a while he told me that he spilled "a little" on the couch. I don't mind a little spill here or there so I wasn't mad until I saw that the whole underside of his diaper was green and so was the couch. I started thinking all sorts of terrible and selfish things in my head and I started to yell. Ian jumped off the couch and sort of started crying. I stopped, though, after about 3 seconds, took a breath, and then belted out, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...." By the end of the song he was cuddled in my lap and I was kissing the top of his head and I was marveling at my wonderful son. Best of all I was truly not angry anymore. IT WORKED!

Now if only I can start singing before I yell next time I will be set...

For Evie

Here are the 2 Dad Can Do projects we made today. The wand is all finished. I decided to add jewels to the tip of my wand.

The Simpsons d'oh-nut is a work in progress. I have assembled it, painted it, and applied the sprinkles. After the paint dries (it has been drying for hours--I think I will turn 31 before it is dry!) I will cut out a bite and then paint some purple doughnut goo coming out.


Thanks for the idea and the website, Evie!

Mmmm....acorns

Marin -- [noun]: A person with a taste for acorns 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hey! This is true because oaks are my favorite trees and my degree is in forestry. I have never liked the taste of acorns though.......

In the country

We recently got back from spending a week with my in-laws who live in the moutains of NC. Ian and I were there from Monday through Friday and Buck met us there Friday night. We left for home on Monday.

We had lots of adventures while we were there.
We had a picnic at a table with my initials carved in it:

We fed the fish at Cherokee Lake and posed for pictures, we crossed the bridge and then climed down into the dam and traversed across barefoot by jumping from rock to rock, we went to Santa's Land, we saw "Robot Pengiuns" (according to Ian), we panned fer gold and gems, we went swimming, we (Buck and I) visited Rome, Georgia, we saw a movie, we spent lots of time in the sand box and the boat, we ate good food, played with animals, had good conversations with family, and had a great visit. Phew, we were busy and now I am tired!

Disney World Day Two-Magic Kingdom

For the uninitiated the Magic Kingdom is the Disneyland of Disney World. This was probably our favorite day of the trip. We started out bright and early so we could ride all the things we wanted to ride.

We zipped over to the Buzz Lightyear ride first and found no line at all. When we got outside Ian found a Bullseye horse (from Toy Story) to take home. He has Woody, Buzz, and Jessie so now his collection is almost complete. I am not sure if he wants a "Stinky Pete" though!

We found Stitch all alone by the Carousel of Progress so stopped by for a visit. We hurried over to Fanatsyland with a quick try at the Sword in the Stone (no luck there) on the way to Dumbo. Ian and I rode Dumbo together and then we all rode Peter Pan, Snow White and it's a small world. We have been talking lots about the different rides and characters so Ian was pretty excited to see Dumbo, Peter Pan, and Snow White (who he refers to as "Heigh Ho"). I think he liked soaring above London best of all.

We passed through the back of Fantasyland to get to the Liberty Square area. Buck was sorely, sorely disappointed to find that his favorite ride of all time, the Haunted Mansion was closed for refurbishment.

We carried on to Frontierland where we saw a Woody-themed dance outside and the Country Bear Jamboree inside. By this point it was pretty hot outside and the crowds were picking up so we headed over to Adventureland and Pirates of the Caribbean! The ride was awesome. I was so amazed by the new Johnny Depp audio-animatronics! I was sure that one of them was an actor in a costume until our second ride-through.

By this time we were all pretty tired so we walked back to Tomorrowland and ate lunch at Cosmic Ray's Starlight Cafe. After lunch we rode the Tomorrowland Transit Authority (the People Mover) around Tomorrowland. Ian was getting pretty tired so we decided to do one more ride before we went back to the hotel for a rest. My cousin Caroline and I chose to do Space Mountain while Buck, Ian and Grammy rode the Indy Speedway. Ian was asleep by the time we were done so we went back to our hotel.

We swam, we rested, we showered and then we all had a nice dinner at the steakhouse restaurant at the Contemporary. Buck, Caroline, and wanted to go back to the park. Ian and Grammy wanted to hang out at the hotel. We hopped on the monorail and waved goodbye to Ian and Gram and headed back to the Magic Kingdom. It was dark by then and not nearly as busy. We had loads of fun and rode lots more rides together. We did Pirates 2 more times, the Jungle Cruise, Splash Mountain, the Astro Orbiter (ugh, I didn't like that one), Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. We shopped a little and then after we watched the fireworks we went back to the hotel, tired but happy.

Disney World Day One-MGM

We got back from Walt Disney World 3 weeks ago (and I still have the temporary tattoo that was only supposed to last a week) so I figured I would write about the trip.

We stayed at the Contemporary Resort. Although I loved being on the Disney property and getting to take advantage of free transportation and extra hours at the park, I disliked that we weren't in the main tower. When I made reservations I chose "garden view" since it was cheaper than "theme park view." I didn't realize that "garden view" really meant "not-even-in-the-same-freaking-building-and-inconvenient-to-everything view" but other than that we were really happy with the hotel.

We went to Disney-MGM Studios the first day. We figured our plan would be to go at a slower pace than we had pre-Ian and maybe leave in the afternoon, rest and come back. Ian loved the Star Tours set and the Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground. But the absolute bestest part of the day, maybe even the trip, was a visit with Mater and Lightning! I couldn't even get him to look in my direction for a picture because he was so excited.



After the daily afternoon thunderstorm at 3 (it is Florida after all) I rode the Rock 'n Roller Coaster by myself since no one else was interested in riding. I found a street sign near the Tower of Terror that said Gower St.

I thought that was pretty cool since my husband used to live on Gower when he was a baby and his parents lived in Hollywood. We went back to the hotel at about 5 and decided we were too tired to go back. We spent the rest of the night swimming, watching TV, eating, enjoying fireworks, and relaxing.