I Candy

Snapshot Monday

2009-11-16T10:52:00.005-05:00

Here are some views of what we have been up to lately:

We found a new park right by our house. It is so cool. There are two playgrounds and lots of trails. One park is made out of found wood and has rain barrels and recycling at each picnic shelter. It also has a huge, steep slide that Ian loves.

We went to see cousin CC run in the NC High School Cross Country finals last weekend. She had a good run and was quite pleased with her final XC run (she's a senior so this was the last opportunity to run). It was also great to see some family and to have a nice meal together. I love my mother-in-law and always feel so lucky to have a great mil when most people I know can't stand theirs. She and I disagree (a lot) about education and unschooling (since she is a school teacher) but otherwise we get along swimmingly. Also, I think as time goes by and Ian gets older she will change her mind about unschooling.

We got some Magic Rocks the other day at Buck's work. They were really pretty initially and I took lots of pictures to keep track of their progress, but as soon as I had to rinse out the tank (per the directions) they fell apart and most of them fell out of the tank. I don't think it was a very fun toy. It was just kind of...there.

Last night Ian and I watched 'Ferris Bueller" and "Willy Wonka" while we got crafty. He drew and painted Oompa Loompas and Willy Wonka and I made some more felt food. I am thrilled with my shrimp. It was all free hand and spur of the moment. The cake is cute but I would do it differently if I ever made another piece. I also made a sausage but we couldn't find it when we were taking pictures. Today we will make more food and try some embroidery.

Snapshot Sunday

2009-10-19T10:39:00.010-04:00

Here is another long-awaited (ha ha!) version of Snapshot Sunday.
We had a peek from the sun for a bit so the little boy and the big boy ran around in the backyard with foam swords for a while.

We are starting to decorate for Halloween. This is Buck's favorite holiday so he goes all out. This year we decided to do a haunted Victorian mansion to be like the one from Disneyland. We have rounded up all the creepy old family pictures (of which Buck has lots :) and made a display in a bookcase. The big picture is actually Buck's parents and Buck (as the baby) back in 1970. His folks were actors and were in a play right around the time he was born so this was taken as a promotional photo.

Ian is getting into the Halloween spirit by drawing skeletons and specters and watching "Nightmare Before Christmas" about 4 times a day! He has plans to collaborate with me on a book version though.
Ah, I found a box of treasures and memories in some stuff that my mom dropped off for Nick. First I found some pictures of old houses and 15-year- old me. Man, I am glad I am not 15 again. I also found a date book from 1987, the year I was left alone at JFK airport (at age 9.5) and the year Nick accidentally burned down the house in the picture!

The last treasure is a mixed blessing. I found a really sad letter from Jensen (from 1991) with a bunch of his hair in it! It is the only physical thing I have left of him, so it was really bittersweet to find it. The letter was also heart-breaking.

See Sarah to play!

Chemicals and Concoctions!

2009-10-16T15:15:00.012-04:00

Today we were treated to a fun, empty and cold park with some friends. Afterwards we had lunch at Chick-fil-A where Ian! got a beaker with his meal.

Okay, so here is a brief aside: last night Ian! and I were discussing exclamation points and how they work, and he thought it would be better if his name and my name had exclamation points after them from now on since we are cool and need some way to denote that. I love my boy!

So, he was pretty stoked about the beaker and told me he wanted to make chemicals once we got home. First it was simply milk, water, and gummies. I brought out some stuff I thought would be fun like syrup and vanilla and sprinkles.

I thought he might actually want to taste it so I chose sweetish things. Then it got chunkier with bread and vitamins and pumpkin seeds and protein powder.
Then it got so crazy that Ian! ran out of room in the beaker and had to move it to a large measuring cup. He added all sorts of spices and condiments and herbs. His favorite thing was adding a bunch of secret ingredients and then watching them sink into the chemical.
He discovered he could use his stirring straw to blow bubbles and that opened up a whole new way to mix his concoction.

All told he used over 30 different ingredients. We had so much fun together this afternoon listening to good music, pretending to be Chairface Chipendale's wife and son (any Tick fans out there?) and making concoctions, connections and good memories.

Snapshot Sunday

2009-09-20T22:05:00.006-04:00

Dearest's role-playing stuff

A bird on a wire

Our "new" front door (since Nick's room covers the old front door).

Rusty railing
Ian drew his dream for me today. He has been wanting to dream about the Animaniacs for such a long time and was thrilled with his brain for giving him the desired dream this morning! He is drawing Yakko in this picture but Wakko is his favorite. He is requesting a little sister to play the part of Dot :)

See Sarah to play!

Snapshot Sunday-Life on the couch edition

2009-09-07T09:44:00.008-04:00

It is sad to say that almost all of my pics from yesterday were taken whilst sitting on the couch. That is where I spent the majority of my day. I have been having a lot of lower back pain for the last month or so and this weekend it got to the point where I couldn't do much except lounge

and play Gauntlet (I got to level 100!) and eat cake lovingly prepared by dearest for no special reason (it says "Cutsie and LIBC" Ian calls my Cutsie and Buck calls me LIBC). I managed to make a surcoat on Friday for my brother Nick who will be knighted next weekend. I also played a lot of New Super Mario Bros. on my lovely turquoise DSi that I got for my birthday and I watched Buck and Ian have a Battle Royale with good guys vs. bad guys.

I will be going to the chiropractor tomorrow, so next Sunday will be more action-packed, I'm sure. I just realized that all of the pictures are blue! It wasn't planned but I like it.

See Sarah to play!

Snapshot Sunday

2009-08-17T14:54:00.004-04:00

It was a.....

Lego and ice cream....

journal writin'.....

Upside-down movie watchin'....

Munchkin playin'....

Library bookin'......
kind of day.

See Sarah to play along.....

Super Sunny Snapshot Sunday

2009-08-09T18:50:00.007-04:00

Denim on the line.

Muscadines almost ready for picking.

Cicada and Liriope.

A sunny spot in the kitchen.

Woo hoo. We're not quite there yet but I think CPMs will be legalized soon.

See Sarah if'n you want to play along.....

Snapshot Sunday

2009-08-02T19:55:00.003-04:00

We're back to all things Haunted Mansion and Lego around here. This is the jilted bride in the attic from Ian's Lego version of the H.M.

A quiet corner of my bedroom.

Rooms within rooms within rooms. (Please excuse the plywood at the end of the hall...once the room addition is complete this will be a bookshelf.)

A picture of a picture of the boy at Epcot.

Rain, rain go away!

See Sarah to play.

Snapshot Sunday

2009-07-19T21:48:00.005-04:00

Construction is finally underway on Nick's room. Hooray!

Today is the last day that we have these windows. Tomorrow they will be gone!

Missing my boys.....they are out of town until next week. It's lonely here....

My perfume bottles

My nightstand with a love note from Dearest....(can you tell that I miss them?)

See Sarah to play!

Snapshot Sunday

2009-07-06T10:14:00.007-04:00

We had a party and someone brought us flowers for the 4th. I loved that the water turned pink the next day! The kitchen view is the morning after the party. This proclamation was on our front door. Here is my smilin' boy. We also got the toys back in some order after having lots of friends over on the 4th.

See Sarah to play.

Snapshot Sunday

2009-06-28T12:37:00.004-04:00

We're back and I have my computer back (it was in the shop) so here's my first SS in a long time!

Ian's drawing

Woo hoo! I hope the Magic 8 Ball is right!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (I'm the littlest 'un)

Down the drain

Rejected! Denied! At least we have hot water again and they will come back and inspect it on Monday, so don't worry.

See Sarah to play!!!

We're baaaack......

2009-06-26T11:30:00.017-04:00

from Disney that is....

We had a great trip! We decided to do everything low-key and casual so we didn't have much of an agenda besides a few must-see rides. It was hotter than I would have liked. I don't know how people live in Florida year-round.

I love this picture. Buck's favorite ride has always been the Haunted Mansion. Ian SO wanted to love this ride as much as Buck did. Ian and I did lots of Haunted Mansion prep before our trip. We watched tons of You Tube videos, we looked at old guide books, he made drawings and Lego models of the house, we listened to the soundtrack to the ride. We figured out how they made the ballroom ghosts (it's an old trick called Pepper's Ghost). Ian figured out how they made Madame Leota's head float in her crystal ball. We talked about the nature of ghosts and whether we believe in them or not.

I showed him an older picture I took of the tombstone in the picture above. He was intrigued when I told him that she opens her eyes and looks around. That started a fascination with watching her on You Tube and talking about tombstones and death and fright and excitement. Everything really does lead to everything else!

On our very first day of the trip we asked Ian what he'd like to see and he said, "The Haunted Mansion!" so we headed that way and walked right on the ride (no line yet!) I captured this moment between Buck and Ian. Ian saw the Leota gravestone and was simultaneously excited and frightened. I love the way he's hanging on to Buck for protection, but still interested in what's around him. Oh, by the way the Haunted Mansion IS his favorite ride now. We rode it 5 times!

He loved Donald's boat in Toon Town.

We were able to meet up with Buck's good friend who lives in Florida. It was such a pleasure to see our kids become good friends. All of the kids loved the Winnie the Pooh playground.
Right before we got in line for Buzz Lightyear ride we spotted Stitch. The kids ran over to get their picture taken (or "made" as we would say in the South) with him.

Favorites from our first day included the Haunted Mansion, it's a small world, Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh playground, the teacups, Donald's boat, the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse, Pirates of the Caribbean, Buzz Lightyear, the Carousel of Progress, and Thunder Mountain Railroad at night.

Here are some more views from our day:

Snapshot Sunday

2009-06-08T13:30:00.003-04:00

A new book to read....

A game to play.....

A dresser full of goodies from See's and Young Living....

Leavin' on a jet plane.....

A magnolia picked for me by Buck.....

I'm getting behind! I'm going to Utah today so check back next Tuesday or so for my snapshot sunday stuff. Oh and see Sarah to play.

Snapshot Sunday--Disney World Edition

2009-06-04T12:13:00.010-04:00

Okay, so it's Thursday I know, but these pictures are from Sunday. We were at Disney World until just last night. We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary on Tuesday. We had such an amazing trip together.

Saturday and Sunday we were able to meet up with some friends who live in Florida and our boys just loved playing together. Sunday we went to Hollywood Studios on what we later learned was Star Wars weekend. It was great to see lots of Star Wars characters and activities, but not so great to see all the crowds.

I will write more about our trip (I hope!) before we take off for Utah in 3 days!

Oh yeah, don't forget to see Sarah to play!

Snapshot Sunday

2009-05-24T18:55:00.004-04:00

Do you think my bookshelf is too cluttery? Nah, me neither:)

Verbascum "Southern Charm" when it's not raining outside

Coming soon: Chez Nick. I guess this one needs more explaining. My younger brother Nicholas lives with us now and we are about to start construction on his room. We are closing in our carport (to the right of this picture) to build his room. We had to cut down some bushes to make room for construction and for the entrance to his new place. Right now it houses our recycling bins and trash...soon it will be the entrance to Nick's room.

A sampling of Dearest's Warhammer figures

Leaves of 3, let it be (Poison Ivy all over my yard!)

See Sarah to play

Snapshot Sunday

2009-05-18T10:15:00.004-04:00

Another rainy day

He moves like a blur in real life!

Verbascum "Southern Charm"

Wet leaves

Play-testing a game with friends

See Sarah to play

Snapshot Sunday-Mother's Day Edition

2009-05-11T09:07:00.004-04:00

Star light, star bright...

Our neck of the woods

Our favorite local coffee shop just closed so Ian said, "Don't worry, Dad. I built you a new Bushiban. It serves coffee to Power Miners and humans."

Family Zuma tournament

Happy Mother's Day!!

See Sarah to play

Snapshot Sunday

2009-05-03T16:57:00.003-04:00

Brand new toilet seat!! We worked on fixing the toilet (leaks and seat) yesterday.
Some games

Jensen on my fridge and always on my mind

Handmade lotion made by a friend. It smells heavenly and it is the perfect consistancy: creamy yet light.
A piece of pink insulation that will be decorated and used in a role-playing game by my hubby.

See Sarah to play.

Interview with Ian

2009-04-27T10:33:00.006-04:00

I found this interview on Danielle's blog today and thought I would ask Ian some of the questions. He seemed to think it was fun so we did the whole thing. Here are his answers, quoted directly, at age 5.

1. What is something your mom always says to you?
You're cute

2. What makes your mom happy?
Me kissing you

3. What makes your mom sad?
When I'm not around

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
When you say, "Blah blah, mwaa, wa, wa!" (said in silly voice)

5. What did your mom like to do when she was a child?
Play

6. How old is your mom?
716

7. How tall is your mom?
Tall as a tiger

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Kiss me

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Write in your journal

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
A race (???)

11. What is your mom really good at?
Loving me

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Gluing toys back together

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Doula

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Hamburgers

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Kissing me (I'm sensing a theme...)

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Arcee

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Cute stuff

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We love each other

19. How are you and your mom different?
We don't look the same

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Because you are always telling me!

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
That he loves you

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Kissing World (????)

On the theme of kissing- I thought I would mention that the picture he drew in the picture above was me looking sad, and the large globular thing heading towards me is a kiss he blew to cheer me up! :)

Snapshot Sunday

2009-04-26T22:18:00.005-04:00

Treasures from the sea

Clean floor! I can see the carpet again.
Art man and books

Great moments with Mr. Lincoln (bookends)

Friends.

See Sarah to play!

Snapshot Sunday

2009-04-19T14:28:00.003-04:00

How could it be spring in the South without azaleas?

Littlest Pet Shops get an ice bath

"Watch out, Mama! I am squirting water!"

Croton

My kingdom for a Lion Bar...mmm...

See Sarah to play!

Blech.....

2009-04-16T11:13:00.006-04:00

I found this posted on a freecycle list today :

My oldest son lost his privileges for having a tv in his room. Forever, unless he earns the money to buy a new one. Don't ask.

It just made me really sad for the boy. His mom actually gave his TV to someone on Freecycle against his wishes. And then wrote about it! That seems like such a cruel, petty thing to do. Whenever I hear stories like this I always think about how I would feel if my hubby (or even a friend) did the same thing to me. I would be furious if he gave away our TV without asking me. I would lose trust in him and in our relationship. I would feel more possessive of my stuff, for fear that he might take something else away from me without notice. I certainly wouldn't feel inclined to share my possessions, time or emotions with him.

I am so glad that in our house this wouldn't really happen. It just struck me because it is so far removed from something that would happen here. Blech.....

Snapshot Sunday--Easter edition

2009-04-12T15:31:00.009-04:00

Easter basket in the morning

Tulips

A friend in the garden

After the Hunt
Eating the spoils

See Sarah to play

Snapshot Sunday

2009-04-05T16:32:00.010-04:00

Here is a glimpse of our day.

A little around the house and a visit to the Renaissance Faire to see my hubby.
flutterby
Stars Wars and super heroes
Ian's getting taller!
Ian got to do the Tin Man dance with the knights...
and was thrilled with himself afterward.

See Sarah to play!

Snapshot Sunday

2009-03-15T14:38:00.007-04:00

Thanks to Sarah for the idea!

Five people contest thingy from Mama P!

2009-03-03T10:34:00.000-05:00

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me. I will try to make these tailored to those five people. The restrictions and limitations:
*I will make no guarantees that you will like what I make.
*What I create will be just for you.
*You will have no clue what it will be
*The catch is that you have to post this as well, if you expect me to do something for you.
*I have to be able to afford the postage, if you live out of country. :)

Please link to your blog, if I don't know you, in case we are new friends.

Science Fair!

2008-04-19T19:14:00.004-04:00

Okay, so first off I have to admit that I was really excited about coming up with a project and participating in the science fair.

Ian and I (well, mostly me really) got our idea from reading through a Usborne book about Ecology. I found this sidebar: The sidebar talked about the presence of lichen and how it indicated the air quality in a given area. I got to thinking about it and wondered how much lichen we had at our house in the Raleigh area compared to my in-laws' house in Murphy (in the NC mountains). It also happened to be an extremely convenient project since I spent the last 10 days at their house!

First, I took pictures of lichen in Murphy: I noted that I really didn't find much lichen on live trees. The really leafy colorful lichen that indicates good air quality was exclusively on dead tree material. In fact, most of the pictures that I took were from the fence posts in the horse corral. We breathed easy in Murphy knowing that we had clean air.

When we got back home we surveyed the trees in our backyard. The only tree that had any lichen on it was alive. It was a silver maple that is probably 50 years old. I checked some dead limbs from the yard but they had no lichen. This leads me think that we have fairly polluted air here in Raleigh. We had a bit of the leafy stuff but almost no lichen at all on the newer trees and bushes. Yikes!

It was fun to take a small blurb in a book and really run with it and think about how it applies to our everyday life. Thanks for the great idea, Iain and Evie!!

Happy Birthday Ian!

2008-03-20T10:01:00.007-04:00

Tap, tap, is this thing on?

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I have just been really busy and crappy about writing.

In Februaury I scrambled to get all my doula reading done before my training at the end of the month. I also made it through my first Jensen D-Day fairly unscathed.

In March I spent a week with Ian and my father-in-law while my MIL was in NYC. I spent another week without internet service since we just ported our home phone number to one of our cell phones and so we had no line for DSL until AT&T could come out and fix it.

Today is a special day though because Ian is 4!

I can't believe my son is already four. He has so many wonderful ideas about life and the world. He likes "mushroom kisses" (a term he coined...I am still not 100% sure what it means) but he doesn't want me to kiss hurts anymore. He likes to be the leader but he still likes to hold my hand and stick by my side in new situations. He adores his dad but he still calls his room "Mama and my room."

I am so lucky to have him in my life. He keeps me on my toes and helps me want to be a better person. He melts my heart when he says, "Mom, we're best friends for-EVER!"

His Spiderman birthday party is on Saturday. This is the first year he has wanted to have a party with friends. We bought a bounce house. I think it will be fun.

I'm a DIT!

2008-01-09T13:50:00.000-05:00

No, not a ditz, a dit! That's a doula-in-training. I just mailed off my registration today for my doula training which will take place in February. I just lined up the childbirth class that I need to audit before I take my training. I just checked out all the books on my reading list that I don't already own. I feel like things are falling into place.

I have been toying with the idea of becoming a doula (and maybe eventually a midwife) for a little while now. It has been in the back of my mind-something I didn't even want to consider seriously since I lacked the confidence to go ahead with it. Right around Christmas I started thinking about it again and it just seemed like the right time to go for it.

I have always been the type of person who let myself get bogged down by the what-ifs and doubts in my head. I really thought about this and tried to keep my head out of the decision to go ahead and get certified. I love babies and moms and this is a way for me to help new moms and babies get a good start together. It can be really part-time and it is something I can stop doing for a while if I need to, and then I can pick it up and easily get re-certified.

I'm pretty excited (and also a tiny bit anxious) about this new venture. Everyone I have told has been super-supportive. My mom told me that I seemed born for this kind of work! Having a lot of folks backing me up feels really good.

These guys will always be my first priority. I feel so lucky every day to have them in my life.

According to Ian

2008-01-08T10:41:00.000-05:00

You don't really think these sweet little animals would hop in a Transformers spaceship and try to take over the world, do you? Nah, me neither.

Holiday stress and photo play

2007-12-20T15:23:00.000-05:00

There's not too much going on at Chez I Candy besides the hustle and bustle of getting ready for Christmas! I have all my out of town packages shipped, the presents are wrapped, Christmas cards are sent, and most of the laundry (but none of the packing) is done. I always manage to get pretty stressed before Christmas but I am relived when it is almost here and most of the work is done for better or for worse.

So I didn't make handmade cards this year, that's okay. The extra time was another moment that I could spend connecting with my family. I didn't make those cookies that I wanted to try this year, oh well, that's something to look forward to next year.

Buck turned 38 on Monday. He requested a yellow cake with vanilla frosting. I didn't realize until right before we sang and did candles that we are missing an "8" candle so I had to do 35 and add 3 single candles. It looked pretty sad....

One thing I have been doing lately is playing with my camera. Jensen had a DSLR and since we talked photography a lot I knew he would want me to have it. I don't have the manual or the software that goes with it but I am slowly learning how to use it. Ian has been a patient model for me while I play around.

Merry Christmas!

Holy crap! I saw Rachael Ray!

2007-12-08T15:45:00.001-05:00

Last night we went to a book signing for Rachael Ray's new book (Just in Time). Buck's cousin (CC) is crazy about her and so she and her mom drove seven hours to see her.

The signing started at 7:30ish and the line-up started at 6, so by the time we got our stuff signed and we were on the way home it was 8:20. We were put into 3 groups to wait for a signature, and we were lucky enough to be in the first group. I felt sorry for everyone waiting when I saw how the line snaked all over the store!

Rachael was really chatty and nice and she told CC that she was beautiful which made her day. Rachael is really cute and looked just the same in person as on TV. I only managed to get crappy pictures because I had to stand about 20' away and behind a stanchion to take pictures. The fluorescent lights didn't help matters.

Rachael shook CC's hand as we left the signing. On the way to the car CC said, "I have Rachael Ray on my hand. I am never going to stop sniffing it!" She always makes me laugh my ass off....

It's beginning to look a lot like...

2007-12-06T10:49:00.001-05:00

Christmas!

We bought our tree last night and spent the evening decorating the tree and the house. The Advent calendar is filled with treats, the stockings are hung (by the chimney with care), the lights are up inside.

I can't for the life of me seem to get a decent picture of my Christmas tree. I did get a picture of my most favorite part of the tree though-my garland.

When I was a little girl we lived in the same town as my grandparents and so we spent Christmas morning at our house and then went to "Fort Evergreen" as my Grandpa called their place, in the afternoon. I loved to dance around their living room, admiring the decorations and especially the candy garland on the Christmas tree. It looked like lifesavers and of course I had to taste it just to make sure it wasn't real. It is plastic, glittery, kinda tacky and was probably made in the 60s but nothing says Christmas to me like that garland on my tree! When my grandma died 3 years ago it was one of the only things I asked for from the house.

This weekend Buck will have his annual "Rednecks on the roof" party. This is when he dons a "Buckzilla" shirt and a bunch of his friends come over to drink beer, eat NC barbecue, and listen to redneck Christmas music while putting our lights up on the roof and around the house.

We enjoyed a marvelous day with Evie and her boys today. I was treated to Iain the Human Pretzel:

and Luigi:

Ian and I had such a good time with our friends. Iain and Ryan always play so well with Ian even though he is younger than they are. They hunted zombie aliens and played with castles and legos and all kinds of fun stuff. Ryan and Ian invaded Evie's jewelry box for magic rings and artifacts and she was so patient and generous with them to let them use her pretty things.

Evie and I got to chat for a long time which was so fun for me. It is wonderful to have a friend who is an unschooler like me since I don't seem to know many at home. I just wish we lived closer to each other so we could meet up more than once every month! Thanks for inviting us, Evie.

Happy Birthday Jensen

2007-11-14T09:16:00.000-05:00

Today would have been my sweet brother's 33rd birthday. I still can't believe that he's not here to celebrate it. I bought him a card. I felt weird not getting one this year-like it would mean denying that he ever existed if I didn't. I don't know what I will do with it though.

I am really sad today and missing Jensen like crazy. I got one of those birthday reminder e-mails today for Johnson O. He must have filled it out that way a long time ago and so I got a chuckle out of it. He was always doing stuff like that.

My sister sent me the CD of his funeral (did you know they record funerals now? I didn't). I haven't listened to it yet but it reminded me of some funny stories people have told about him. One friend talked about a day they were going to the mall as teenagers. They drove to our house to get Jensen and he came out wearing shorts and he had shaved vertical stripes on his legs just to make his friends laugh. Another guy told about a time in college when they were sitting around in the cafeteria. Jensen walked pretending he had a racket on his shoulder and said, "Anyone for squash?" in an overdone British accent. The guy who told the story was looking for a name for his band at the time so he chose Anyone for Squash.

I guess the worst part of today is that I am gaining on Jensen. For as long as I've been alive he has been around and he was always my older brother. I am still 2 years behind but pretty soon I won't be. I think my 33rd birthday will be really hard because then I will be older than he ever was. My life will move on and I will get older and he will always be young. It seems wrong to me.

From the first time I saw him (I don't have a picture of that) to the last time I saw him (I do, unfortunately, have a pic of that-I didn't know it would be the last time I saw him. It is the one of us with Jensen in the green coat) I have always loved him, looked up to him, and known he was special. Today is no different.

Wonderful Moments

2007-11-04T10:03:00.000-05:00

Stephanie came up with a great idea. She challenged bloggers to write down 10 or so wonderful moments from this week in their life as parents. I thought it was such a great idea that I borrowed it.

I am really loving this challenge because it helps me look back over my days with Ian in a sweet, loving context. Also, I am waking up each morning with joy and anticipation in my heart wondering, "What lovely things will happen today?"

Here are just a few wonderful moments from this week:

Sunday Oct 28: As I was getting Ian out of his car seat at McDonald's I mis-judged the top of the door frame and totally hit my head as I bent over to undo his belt. As I was trying not to cuss out loud (I failed) and trying not to cry because it hurt so much Ian said, "Oh, Mama, you hurt yourself. Where does it hurt?" I pointed to the spot on the top of my head and he kissed it better. And it WORKED!

Monday Oct 29: On the way home from playing at the airport observation deck Ian started talking about Buck. "I miss Daddy. I want to see him at work. I want him to come home with us." When I explained that Buck had to finish his work day and couldn't just kick off at 2 he said, "Well, then I want to stay with him 'til he leaves." We stopped by work and visited Buck. He couldn't leave just then but he did take some time to play trains with us so Ian was happy.

Tuesday Oct 30: After a long, full day with a party (where he told us,"This is a good party!") and a bit of trick-or-treating (some towns here are celebrating Halloween on Tuesday this year) we snuggled at home under a blanket on the couch to watch some TV. Ian was in Buck's lap and he started nodding off. He smiled as he fell asleep and he looked so peaceful and happy to be where he was. I absolutely love moments like this!

Wednesday Oct 31: Halloween was fun because this was Ian's first year to go trick-or-treating. It was a joy to watch him walk around in his costume in the dark collecting candy. It reminded me so much of the fun I used to have as a kid. We went with his "girlfriend" who kept asking him, "Ian, are we married yet?", to which he would reply, "No! Not YET! We aren't big enough!"

Thursday November 1st: Today we saw some friends we haven't been able to see in several months. We spent the whole day at their house and Ian and I had a blast. For me it was great to catch up with my friend. The best part of the day though was probably when Ian and his friend ran across the lawn with their arms outstretched to give each other a big hug.

Friday November 2: Today's wonderful moment didn't start off well and it really applies more to me than to Ian. We went to a local forest with another Ian and his mom and brother. The 2 Ians kept running ahead of us on the trail and at first I tried to yell for mine to come back. After a bit though I realized that Ian was smart and he kept choosing good places to stop and wait for me to catch up, I trust him and so yelling at him wasn't extending that trust to him or in his ability to make his own choices, and yelling sounded horrible and was just silly! So I stopped. My Ian and I had a lot more fun after that. This was a wonderful moment for me because it is another time that I silenced my fears and doubts and got my parenting self back where I want to be.

Another wonderful moment was around dinner time when Ian was playing with fridge letter magnets. He told me he was writing 'My little pony' and then told me he wants "too much My Little Ponies." Too much to Ian means a lot; more that he can hold in his hands. He has one MLP doll now that is plush and about the size of a Care Bear. He takes good care of Rainbow Dash and loves to cuddle him or rock him to sleep. Rainbow Dash is just one of a lot of Ian's interests. He loves Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, knights, cars, mama and baby animal sets, cowboys, books, movies, etc...I just like that he sees MLP as one of many fun choices.

Saturday November 3: We met Buck's mom and cousin at the mall in Winston-Salem. Ian found an old photo booth and wanted to get his picture taken. At the last minute he asked me to be in the picture with him (as well as Baby Dinosaur). It was really fun and reminded me of being a kid. The top picture is missing because we gave it to Grammy.

Sunday November 4: This morning while we were waking up Ian got really close to my face, put his hands on my cheeks and said, "Stay here with me. I like you!" Then he kissed me on the forehead. :) I am sick today and as Buck left for a sword fight this morning Ian ran in the room and said, "I will take care of you, Mama!"

So, there is just a sampling of moments from this week. It was such a busy week! We normally like to have a day or two where we lay low and hang out at the house but it was fun to see lots of friends and we had lots of adventures. It was hard for me to narrow my list of moments down for this entry. I consider this to be a great week. I wonder what wonderful moments will happen next week?

Today

2007-10-31T15:58:00.000-04:00

By request, here is our zombie graveyard. My hubby is the tall one in the middle!

Here's another picture just because I think it is really cute.

Meme

2007-10-27T11:09:00.000-04:00

So Evie tagged me with a meme. I am supposed to list 10 weird things about myself. Weirdness is in the eye of the beholder. Hmmm...I hope I can stop at 10!

1. I was almost traded for 10 camels once in Saudi Arabia. No really! A Saudi guy offered my step-dad camels in exchange for my (11 year old) hand in marriage. Thank goodness he declined the offer, but he did get some usage out of it as a threat later on: "If you don't behave I will sell you for 10 camels!"

2. I don't like any fruits with the word "berry" or "melon" in their names. I am starting to come around on strawberries though. I think it is a texture thing for me and it all goes back to the super taster thing I mentioned before. Watermelon especially grosses me out. All those stringy fibers make me feel yucky.

3. I sucked my thumb until I was 12. I can't believe I just admitted that. My family did everything they could think of to get me to stop. I lived in fear of falling asleep with my thumb in my mouth during a sleepover. One day I just decided to stop on my own and I did.

4. I like to go to the movies by myself. I don't really think this is weird but I have been told in the past that it is. I love the whole movie-going experience so it isn't a big deal to me if I don't have someone else there to enjoy it with me. Of course I love going to the movies with Buck and Ian and friends. I just don't mind going alone.

5. I have never dyed my hair. I don't think this one is particularly weird either but I can't think of anyone I know who hasn't dyed their hair by the time they were 30. No Sun-In, no kool-aid, nothing.

6. I am pretty good at remembering numbers. I have a knack for remembering phone numbers and birthdays, addresses and social security numbers. I still remember the social security number of a co-worker from 10 years ago. When I was 16 and I worked at Office Max I used to memorize the credit card numbers of repeat customers.

7. I got married in the UFO capital of the UK (but not on purpose). Buck and I got married in Bonnyrigg, Scotland. When we got home we read that Bonnyrigg is home to the most UFO sightings in the whole United Kingdom! Cool.

8. I have written in a paper journal almost every day since I turned 18. I am on volume 36 now. I tried to keep a diary when I was a kid and I just never kept with it. Something just clicked when I turned 18 and I have been writing ever since.

9. I don't know how to put on make-up. I feel like there is a gene for being able to do make-up and hair that I am missing. I feel that I look like a prostitute whenever I try to wear make-up. I don't know what I am doing. Also, I could never figure out how to do the high bangs in eighth grade. At the time it was a tragedy. Nowadays, I don't mind.

10. Sometimes I think of tastes and smells as having sounds. It is hard to explain but I associate certain tastes (like mint and stew and bell peppers) and smells (like cinnamon and cloves and grass) with sounds.

I don't know who to tag so if you read this post consider yourself tagged. You're it!

Folk Festival

2007-10-09T14:46:00.000-04:00

We visited this in-laws again this weekend. Ian and I tend to go a lot. Ian loves his Grammy and being out on the "farm" where they live. Buck was able to come with us this time. I like it when he can come with us :) The local Folk Festival was happening while we were in town so we decided to go on Sunday.

The first thing we noticed about the fair was that it was unnaturally hot! The leaves on the trees hadn't even really started to change.

We wandered through the crowds and the booths, admiring the crafts, jewelry, furniture, art, and people. I found lots of things I liked but I was indecisive so I left empty-handed. I wish I had been more vocal about wanting to go back and look at certain booths. I am pretty good about making sure Ian gets to do the things he wants to do but I am not always as mindful about my own wants. I was fascinated by all the detail and love that the craftsmen put into their wares.

Ian wanted to ride a pony. He rode one named Flicka and had a great time. He was a little bit nervous but he loved his pony, the saddle and the experince. He didn't care for the helmet though.

We sat down in the shade of a cherry tree for lunch. Everyone went to different food stalls to get their favorites. While we were eating Ian told us that he wanted a ribbon stick. We had seen a few kids waving brightly painted sticks with ribbons on the end and Ian thought they were cool. I asked him where we could find them and without any hesitation he said, "In the big barn!" The big barn was our next destination. We hadn't been there yet and we couldn't see the entrance. The barn was where the dancing and singing was held. There were also booths inside and Folk Festival shirts for sale there. As soon as we walked inside we saw a boy with a ribbon stick. I asked him where he bought it and sure enough he pointed to a stall about 20 feet away! Ian was right! I asked him how he knew they would be there and he said, "Because I wanted one." Wow. I wish I could be that sure of myself. Seriously.

We bought kettle corn and wandered around some more. Ian walked around with Grammy a bit. When he saw us again several minutes later he ran up to us singing his Transformers song at the top of his lungs. It is so fun to watch him learn and grow and share things he is passionate about with us.

We didn't stay at the festival for long but it was such a treat to be together, chatting and laughing (and sweating!) and holding hands with loved ones.

P.S. Thanks to Stephanie for her help in figuring out how to do the photo merge thing in Photoshop!

No food wars here

2007-09-26T16:49:00.001-04:00

When we began unschooling we decided not to limit food choices or quantity for Ian. I grew up in a house where I had to eat everything even if I didn't like it and now I am a very (very, very) picky eater. My husband grew up being able to make his own choices about what he wanted to eat and even where he wanted to eat it (when he was 4 and 5 he didn't like his food to touch so he requested separate plates and utensils for each dish). Nowadays he will eat almost anything.

This may just be a coincidence. I don't really know. I am half convinced that I am a super taster like the They Might Be Giants song and that might be why I am so picky.

We trust Ian and we feel that only he knows his body. Only he knows when he is hungry and when he is full, what his body is craving and when to stop eating.

It has been a joy lately to watch him make food choices. The other day right as we sat down to a meal of pork chops, bread and salad he told me he wanted mint chocolate chip ice cream. At first I was hesitant to give it to him. I started feeling angry because I had just spent time making this nice meal and I wanted him to eat what I prepared! I took breath and realized I wasn't letting him make his own choices (and I was being silly) so I fixed him a bowl. He sat down happily with us to eat his ice cream. When he was nearly finished, he pushed the bowl away and announced, "I want to eat my dinner now." Wow! I didn't expect that one.

Today he asked for gummy bears. I put a large hand full in a bowl. He ate a few, I ate a few. He soon handed me the bowl and said, "I don't want these anymore." I put them aside in case he wants them later. He might. He might not.

I am just amazed at his choices at 3.5 years old. I am 30 and I don't have that much willpower! I suppose for him it's not willpower though. He really just doesn't want any more. He knows that if he does want more they are available and no one will tell him that he can't have them. Freedom of choice makes all the difference in the world.

Ebay happiness

2007-09-21T12:50:00.000-04:00

While we were at Live and Learn (I know, I know, I need to write a post about it!) Ian spied an egg and spoon race game on the raffle table. He really wanted it and mentioned it a lot. Buck and I tried to put lots of tickets in the bag to increase our odds of winning but we didn't win. Ian was pretty disappointed so we talked about ways we might buy it at home. I looked at Target since it was the Play Wonder brand that they carry, but they didn't stock it anymore. I found it on ebay but the auction had just begun.

At the end of the week we won the auction and the coveted prize arrived today! He was overjoyed to have his toy arrive and I was too! We quickly opened the box and began playing. We have found lots of uses for it besides just having egg and spoon races. The spoons can be lined up, the eggs can be cooked and served to mom, the egg shells can hold treasures, the egg shells can be stacked.

I am so glad that we are living this unschooling life. A couple of years ago I would have just dismissed his idea as just a temporary want and I would have disregarded it. I never would have gone out of my way to find it for him unless he kept "bugging" me about it. Even then I might just tell him that it was too bad that we didn't get it and we just couldn't find it without even looking for it.

I will be forever grateful to people like Sandra Dodd and Pam Sorooshian for putting information about radical unschooling out there, for living it and for continuing to write about it. Our lives are changed forever and definitely for the better. Of course we have day-to-day crap like everyone else but life with my kid is so much more fun and peaceful than I ever thought it could be!

Oh, and of course Hi-Q joined in on the egg-spoon fun. He is always a part of our play!

It worked! Episode II: Water and Popcorn

2007-09-20T20:55:00.000-04:00

Once when Ian was having a hard day I asked him what I could do for him to help calm him down next time he felt out of control. He told me I could get him some water to drink. We got to test that one out this morning. He was upset when I got back from my run and I wasn't lying next to him anymore. His anger started escalating and he really seemed stuck in his discomfort so I asked him if he would like some water. He immediately stopped yelling and said yes. I got him a drink, he took one sip, and within about 2 minutes he was smiling and telling me that I was his sunshine! I swear that my kid has the best ideas!

Around lunch I asked what he wanted to eat. "Copcorn!" he shouted. I made a big bowl of popcorn and put his in a special Shrek bowl. We cuddled under "Big Blue" (a blanket made by my grandma that is both big and blue) and watched "Goonies." It is amazing to me how much joy there is in our house when I simply listen to Ian and say yes. If he were in pre-school he couldn't ask for popcorn for lunch and we definitely couldn't cuddle every day.

While we were in Lowe's the other day a cashier told me to value this time with him while I can. She said that the day her son went to kindergarten was the last time she was allowed to hug him, and her 13-year-old daughter won't even talk to her. I just told her that I do cherish the time I have with him, but I don't worry at all about him not wanting to spend time with me. And I don't.

It worked!

2007-09-18T11:31:00.001-04:00

In my never-ending quest to be a better mama and a better person, I ask my son for advice on my behavior. I figure that he is one of the best people I know so I bet he will have a good idea for me.

Last week I yelled at him for some stupid thing that I don't even remember. After I calmed down and breathed I came back to him and I apologized and asked him, "What do you think I could do next time I start to yell at you so that I calm down and don't yell at you?" He smiled and immediately told me that I could, "sing the sunshine song!" The 'sunshine song' is "You are my sunshine" and it's one of our favorites. I sing it to him pretty much every day and if I forget he reminds me to sing it.

So, yesterday he was eating mint chocolate chip ice cream on the couch and after a while he told me that he spilled "a little" on the couch. I don't mind a little spill here or there so I wasn't mad until I saw that the whole underside of his diaper was green and so was the couch. I started thinking all sorts of terrible and selfish things in my head and I started to yell. Ian jumped off the couch and sort of started crying. I stopped, though, after about 3 seconds, took a breath, and then belted out, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...." By the end of the song he was cuddled in my lap and I was kissing the top of his head and I was marveling at my wonderful son. Best of all I was truly not angry anymore. IT WORKED!

Now if only I can start singing before I yell next time I will be set...

For Evie

2007-09-14T16:20:00.000-04:00

Here are the 2 Dad Can Do projects we made today. The wand is all finished. I decided to add jewels to the tip of my wand.

The Simpsons d'oh-nut is a work in progress. I have assembled it, painted it, and applied the sprinkles. After the paint dries (it has been drying for hours--I think I will turn 31 before it is dry!) I will cut out a bite and then paint some purple doughnut goo coming out.

Thanks for the idea and the website, Evie!

Mmmm....acorns

2007-09-01T19:58:00.000-04:00

Marin --
[noun]:

A person with a taste for acorns

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hey! This is true because oaks are my favorite trees and my degree is in forestry. I have never liked the taste of acorns though.......

In the country

2007-08-27T10:22:00.000-04:00

We recently got back from spending a week with my in-laws who live in the moutains of NC. Ian and I were there from Monday through Friday and Buck met us there Friday night. We left for home on Monday.

We had lots of adventures while we were there.
We had a picnic at a table with my initials carved in it:

We fed the fish at Cherokee Lake and posed for pictures, we crossed the bridge and then climed down into the dam and traversed across barefoot by jumping from rock to rock, we went to Santa's Land, we saw "Robot Pengiuns" (according to Ian), we panned fer gold and gems, we went swimming, we (Buck and I) visited Rome, Georgia, we saw a movie, we spent lots of time in the sand box and the boat, we ate good food, played with animals, had good conversations with family, and had a great visit. Phew, we were busy and now I am tired!

Disney World Day Two-Magic Kingdom

2007-08-09T16:22:00.000-04:00

For the uninitiated the Magic Kingdom is the Disneyland of Disney World. This was probably our favorite day of the trip. We started out bright and early so we could ride all the things we wanted to ride.

We zipped over to the Buzz Lightyear ride first and found no line at all. When we got outside Ian found a Bullseye horse (from Toy Story) to take home. He has Woody, Buzz, and Jessie so now his collection is almost complete. I am not sure if he wants a "Stinky Pete" though!

We found Stitch all alone by the Carousel of Progress so stopped by for a visit. We hurried over to Fanatsyland with a quick try at the Sword in the Stone (no luck there) on the way to Dumbo. Ian and I rode Dumbo together and then we all rode Peter Pan, Snow White and it's a small world. We have been talking lots about the different rides and characters so Ian was pretty excited to see Dumbo, Peter Pan, and Snow White (who he refers to as "Heigh Ho"). I think he liked soaring above London best of all.

We passed through the back of Fantasyland to get to the Liberty Square area. Buck was sorely, sorely disappointed to find that his favorite ride of all time, the Haunted Mansion was closed for refurbishment.

We carried on to Frontierland where we saw a Woody-themed dance outside and the Country Bear Jamboree inside. By this point it was pretty hot outside and the crowds were picking up so we headed over to Adventureland and Pirates of the Caribbean! The ride was awesome. I was so amazed by the new Johnny Depp audio-animatronics! I was sure that one of them was an actor in a costume until our second ride-through.

By this time we were all pretty tired so we walked back to Tomorrowland and ate lunch at Cosmic Ray's Starlight Cafe. After lunch we rode the Tomorrowland Transit Authority (the People Mover) around Tomorrowland. Ian was getting pretty tired so we decided to do one more ride before we went back to the hotel for a rest. My cousin Caroline and I chose to do Space Mountain while Buck, Ian and Grammy rode the Indy Speedway. Ian was asleep by the time we were done so we went back to our hotel.

We swam, we rested, we showered and then we all had a nice dinner at the steakhouse restaurant at the Contemporary. Buck, Caroline, and wanted to go back to the park. Ian and Grammy wanted to hang out at the hotel. We hopped on the monorail and waved goodbye to Ian and Gram and headed back to the Magic Kingdom. It was dark by then and not nearly as busy. We had loads of fun and rode lots more rides together. We did Pirates 2 more times, the Jungle Cruise, Splash Mountain, the Astro Orbiter (ugh, I didn't like that one), Space Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. We shopped a little and then after we watched the fireworks we went back to the hotel, tired but happy.

Disney World Day One-MGM

2007-08-07T09:50:00.001-04:00

We got back from Walt Disney World 3 weeks ago (and I still have the temporary tattoo that was only supposed to last a week) so I figured I would write about the trip.

We stayed at the Contemporary Resort. Although I loved being on the Disney property and getting to take advantage of free transportation and extra hours at the park, I disliked that we weren't in the main tower. When I made reservations I chose "garden view" since it was cheaper than "theme park view." I didn't realize that "garden view" really meant "not-even-in-the-same-freaking-building-and-inconvenient-to-everything view" but other than that we were really happy with the hotel.

We went to Disney-MGM Studios the first day. We figured our plan would be to go at a slower pace than we had pre-Ian and maybe leave in the afternoon, rest and come back. Ian loved the Star Tours set and the Honey I Shrunk the Kids playground. But the absolute bestest part of the day, maybe even the trip, was a visit with Mater and Lightning! I couldn't even get him to look in my direction for a picture because he was so excited.

After the daily afternoon thunderstorm at 3 (it is Florida after all) I rode the Rock 'n Roller Coaster by myself since no one else was interested in riding. I found a street sign near the Tower of Terror that said Gower St.

I thought that was pretty cool since my husband used to live on Gower when he was a baby and his parents lived in Hollywood. We went back to the hotel at about 5 and decided we were too tired to go back. We spent the rest of the night swimming, watching TV, eating, enjoying fireworks, and relaxing.

Their floors are sticky-mart......

2007-07-25T14:29:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from our visit to the Kwik-E-Mart in Orlando: I swear I own more than one shirt!

They were all out of Buzz Cola so we got Squishees instead. Big mistake.

It was rad.

Missing my brother

2007-07-06T13:42:00.000-04:00

I am missing Jensen a lot these days. I dug up some stuff that he drew just to make myself smile.

I think this one is a wishful thinking self-portrait

Inspired by actual events!

This was a Christmas present to my mom and if you look closely you can

see that it says "Merry Christmas."

The Pedestrian and TV

2007-07-04T09:27:00.000-04:00

Ray Bradbury is one of my favorite authors. I was recently watching an episode of 'The Ray Bradbury Theater" (RBT) based on his short story 'The Pedestrian'. I have been really been on a RBT kick ever since Jensen told me that he bought me a DVD set of them right after Christmas. He was never able to give them to me in person but I found them in his apartment after he died and now I have assigned them some special, tallismatic significance to them since he touched them and meant for me to have them and I miss him a bunch. Anyway, Buck walked in while I was watching and we talked about how it is one of his favorite Bradbury stories. It is about a man who goes for a walk at night in a future where people don't leave their houses or their TV sets. The man is questioned by a police as if he is a criminal for not going with the flow by sitting at home in front of the TV. Of course right after we watched it we got all fired up and went for a walk.

The other day on one of the unschooling lists I read there was a link to this article by Ray. He says in the interview that 'Fahrenheit 451' was never about censorship but about his dislike of television. That seemed ironic when the interviewer pointed out that he had a flat-screen TV turned on during the whole interview! I think that Ray Bradbury is one of the greatest authors out there but I don't agree with his comments about TV. I know that watching TV has led me to read things I wouldn't have otherwise found, investigate new-to-me things, and make connections and strengthen relationships with my family.

For example, we are going to Florida next week and we are making a special trip to visit a 7-Eleven because of 'The Simpsons'. For the month of July they are making certain stores into Kwik-E-Marts complete with Buzz Cola and Krusty-O cereal. My little family has had hours of laughter and inside jokes and pop culture and trivia and connections from this show. We are thrilled to be able to see the Kwik-E-Mart. We would sure be missing out if we never watched TV.

I took a Bath....

2007-06-27T14:20:00.001-04:00

We went to Bath, NC this weekend. It is the oldest town in North Carolina (established in 1705). The town has almost the same dimensions as it originally did so we were able to walk the whole thing. Blackbeard the Pirate lived there for a while when he got married for the 14th time.

Ian was interested in the graveyard. He has been talking about my brother a lot lately. When we went on a walk a few nights ago he commented at every manhole cover that Uncle Jensen was buried there. I think he must be processing all this new info about death and grieving right now. He tells me that Uncle Jensen is dead a lot. He tells me that he (Jensen) is in a big hole. He tells me that he misses him. I tell him that I have lots of dreams about Jensen and he says, "Me too!"

The best part of the day was the visit to the swimming hole. We found a little state park with a cool spot for swimming. The water was a murky green-brown and salty, but felt great on a hot day. We found tons of shells-some with barnacles on them and some with living creatures still in them! Ian was able to walk all the way out to the edge of the swimming area without the water going over his head. He was thrilled to be in the water with me and Buck. He asked for rides on our backs and called us "Mommy and Daddy Seahorse".

I am so glad to have these two guys in my life.

2007-05-29T10:23:00.000-04:00

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Cool! I'm in Gryffindor!

For Jensen

2007-03-30T14:23:00.000-04:00

I don't know how else to start this post; My brother Jensen committed suicide. He died on February 9th. He lived in Utah so we didn't get to see each other very often but we talked almost daily. We were close. I just can't believe it.

He was such a cool guy. He was an artist. He taught himself how to play guitar, he wrote songs, he drew, he painted, he wrote stories and poems. He wrote the lyrics for a musical adaptation of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. He loved music and poetry and horror movies and Vincent Price. He was kind and thoughtful. He was gentle. He was my go-to guy. He knew or would quickly find the answer to any question. He was smart. He prided himself on being funny and witty. He was clever. He was always very loving to me. He encouraged me and loved me and didn't judge me. When he found out how much I loved photography he bought me my first digital camera. He shared. He rooted for the underdog. We had lots of plans together. He was 32.

I still can't believe he is gone. I went to his funeral. I went through his things in the apartment where he died. I came back home. I've already put his things in my house. Life is moving on. But I miss him. I wish I could talk to him. I wish he had called me that day.

He had been suffering from depression for 14 years. He felt that his life had become unbearable. I wish I could have shouldered some of the burden for him. I know that I did help him I but wish I could have done more. I wish he was still here.

This is how I like to think of him now: happy and free and light. Floating like a leaf on the wind. Flying like a bird, legs swinging and the wind in his hair. I am not sure what waits for us all after we die, but I hope it includes peace for Jensen. I miss him and love him everyday.

Jensen Reed 11/14/1974-02/09/2007

The End of October

2006-11-08T18:21:00.000-05:00

We have been so busy in the last couple of weeks. That is not the norm for us but we are enjoying it nonetheless.

At the end of October we took Ian to the NC State Fair for the first time. Buck was able to change work around for the day so he came with us. We had basically counted on not riding anything but Ian surprised us by asking to go through the funhouse and on the ferris wheel. It was a cool moment to be up in the air on a glorious day with my little family.

He and I shared a big turkey leg and corn, we looked at cows and various poultry, and Ian rode a real pony. Ian's favorite thing at the fair though was the cow robot. There was a plush cow who was riding on a mini John Deere tractor. The cow could talk and he could hear us talk too! Ian spent a long time just watching the cow from the sidelines. After a while he felt comfortable enough to approach the cow. He talked to the cow a bit and gave it a pat on the head before running off.

There can be only one

2006-11-05T15:10:00.000-05:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There is:
1
person with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

It's been a while

2006-07-29T14:04:00.000-04:00

I almost forgot I had a blog. I haven't written in over a year now. Ian is almost 2 and a half. He is lots of fun and very chatty. Some of his favorite things now are: cars and trucks, Star Wars "guys" (action figures), his supey Superman cape, drawing, dancing, singing, trains, swordfighting with Dad and hanging out with friends and family.

We went to Virginia earlier this month. We all really enjoyed visiting Jamestown and Busch Gardens. We were pretty tired by the time we got to Williamsburg on the last day so we left early.

Ian is always learning new stuff and testing out new theories. In this picture he was plugging his ears while humming and talking to hear the difference in sound. We love to paint together, he enjoys sorting silverware and listening to music. He is cool.

Do I have to think of a title?

2005-07-06T10:33:00.000-04:00

So I have been bad about writing.....We have been having a fairly busy summer. Ian and I spent the last week of June with the in-laws. We had a good time and Ian had a couple of "very important" firsts while we were there. While at Wendy's one day he both learned to drink from a straw and dip a fry in ketchup. He has been wanting to use a straw for a while now so that was cool. The dipping was a fluke. I had done the typical mom thing of breaking up fries and some burger into small pieces and putting them on a napkin in front of Ian. We were all chatting and not paying attention to the boy. All of the sudden he grabbed a fry out of his aunt's fry box and dipped it in her ketchup and ate the whole thing. For some reason my aunt started crying at this (since it is a rite of passage in American culture) and so I snapped a picture.

We went to Nottley Lake in Georgia one day during our visit. Ian didn't think much of swimming but enjoyed running around and tripping over a concrete culvert that drained into the lake. At lunch he would have nothing to do with the hard boiled egg or hot dog that I had broken up for him. He grabbed a whole hot dog and started eating away. In my head I always think "Baby eating hot dog = Choke! Choke! Fire! Alarm!" but he would not be deterred from doing it himself. This is one of those times when I just let him do it himself and keep a close watch on the proceedings.

We are heading to Florida this weekend for our official summer vacation. I am hoping that we will be able to see the shuttle launch on the 13th. It has always been my secret wish to be an astronaut. I will turn 28 while we are in Florida. I will write and post pictures upon my return.

Mother's Day

2005-05-12T09:50:00.000-04:00

We had a gorgeous picnic on Mother's Day. We had my aunt and cousin in town for the weekend and on Sunday we drove them halfway home. We met my mil at a rest stop and had a huge picnic for lunch. My mil went all out-she fried chicken, made cole slaw, potato salad, and brownies. She also brought strawberries, grapes, tomatoes, chips, carrots, dip, and watermelon! It was great fun to watch Ian eat his first slice of watermelon;he mostly ate the rind and of course he made a mess. It was such a beautiful day and we sat in the grass and talked and played for a few hours before we loaded up to drive back home.

In other news, my sister had a baby boy on May 10. He was 7lbs. 11oz. and he has ten fingers and ten toes. She hasn't picked out a name yet, but she better tell me soon:). This is her fourth baby (and her third boy!). Now there are 8 grandkids in the family and Ian isn't the youngest anymore. Welcome to the world, Little One!

Are you going to the Renaissance Faire?

2005-04-14T13:20:00.000-04:00

I guess it has been a while...there's not too much going on here. We were kept very busy at the end of March and the beginning of April by the Renaissance Faire. My husband teaches Medieval martial arts (swordfighting, hand to hand combat, whip, etc) at a school here in NC and they always have a booth at the Faire. Last year's faire almost coincided with Ian's birth (but we missed it by a week) so I guess Buck would have been telling me to push while wearing chain mail :). Anyway, we had a good time at the faire this year but I am glad it is over and I am glad that I have my husband back! Here he is in his armor:

And here is a picture of Ian after sharing ice cream with me.

I started going to Curves last week. I am loving it so far. I feel more energetic, I am in a better mood, I feel less sore, I just feel great in general when I go. I have only gone 5 times so far but I think I already feel a difference. I am starting to firm up a little bit. I hope I lose weight but even if I just continue to feel better it is worth going.

Easter

2005-03-30T13:43:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a good Easter. The Easter Bunny came to visit and left us with a basket full of candy (which is almost gone now...), a duck, and a book. The book is "Poems to Read to the Very Young" and it's illustrated by Eloise Wilkin. She illustrated my all-time favorite kid's book "The Visit". Just another way that my husband, A.K.A. the Easter Bunny, shows that he is paying attention and that he loves me!

Happy Birthday to Ian

2005-03-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

My boy turned one on Sunday! We stayed with my in-laws for a long weekend to celebrate his birthday and we just got home Tuesday night.
He wasn't all that thrilled with the cake and ice cream but he liked opening presents and chasing my mother-in-law's dog around afterwards.

I can see him changing on an almost daily basis now. It is exhilirating and more than a little scary. I love having a one-year-old...but it feels weird to think that he is a toddler now. I still can't get over that. He definately has preferences and desires of his own. He loves music, he is intersted in animals, he loves to hang out with both me and his dad. He loves to bump foreheads with people (ouch!) and thinks fake sneezes are really amusing. He has a personality and a sense of humor. He dislikes waking up alone, getting his diaper changed (but who doesn't?), and having pens and scissors taken away from him. We love having him in our lives and look forward to many more years of excitement and joy with him.

Just press play!

2005-03-17T10:23:00.000-05:00

*Edited to add* I have been trying to post this since Tue but Blogger wouldn't let me!

When I was a little girl we lived in Saudi Arabia. I had to go to private school since there weren’t any English-speaking schools around. My parents put chose a British school for the first two years we were there (3rd and 4th grades). We took all sorts of interesting classes but one of my favorites was music. On my first day of class the teacher asked if anyone knew how to play the recorder since we would be learning it that year. “Sure I do, “ I piped up, “you just press play!” It really didn’t occur to me until after she passed out the instruments that I had said something weird. I totally thought she was talking about a tape recorder!
Buck brought home a recorder last night. He works at a bookstore and sometimes he gets freebies. Yesterday he got a new, unopened recorder from work. I am having all sorts of fun trying to figure songs out. I can play “Jingle Bells” and “Hot Cross Buns” so far. Ian is enthralled with the recorder. He doesn’t quite know what to make of it. He laughs when he hears me playing it. He wants to try too but he doesn’t understand how to blow through the mouthpiece yet. He basically chews on it and hums like he is playing a kazoo or something. This is one of the best parts of being his mom, getting to watch him open up and learn about the world around him.

Lets go to the movies

2005-03-14T19:30:00.000-05:00

I got to see a good friend of mine this weekend. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other in over a month. I regret this since I love her dearly and I want to see her more often! We are movie buddies--we see movies with each other that no one else will see with us. But more importantly we are great friends. I like that she is who she is; she doesn't care what people think of her and she is happy with herself. She knows what she likes but she's not pushy about it. I think she likes me because she thinks I am wacky and funny (wacky is sort of a lame word, isn't it?) and because she can be herself around me. When Ian was born last year we didn't see each other very much. I was a new, overwhelmed, busy mom, and she thought I didn't want her company. Not true! I was just in too much of a daze to poke my head out and tell her so. I really look forward to spending lots of time with my friend C this year. I am so glad that Ian is almost one (on Sunday) and doesn't need me quite so much. He is happy to stay home with Buck and he can fall asleep without me nursing him down. Oh yeah, we saw "Robots" at the movies. It was cute.

Why do people let time get in the way? I thought about C over Jan and Feb when I didn't speak to her, but the longer I waited, the harder it got to call. I thought, "I bet she is mad that I haven't called her by now so I better not call at all." I imagine that she was thinking the same thing. I just wish that I could be more direct with people and say what I mean (and I wish others would do the same with me).

At Christmas I saw my older brother who I hadn't seen in a long time. The night before I left we talked for hours and had such a great conversation. We realized that we have a lot of the same anxieties. We like a lot of the same things. We are so alike! If we weren't brother and sister we would probably still be friends. Why then do we let time and place keep us from keeping up with each other? Maybe I will give him a call tonight.

Farmers Market

2005-03-10T00:22:00.000-05:00

Ian and I went to the farmers market today. We were the only 2 shoppers in sight so I tried to buy one thing from a lot of people. We always try to buy fish at the farmers market. They have fresh stuff from the coast. We also visited a nursery. There's not much to see yet. It is too cold to have the colorful bedding plants out yet. We settled for some seeds instead (sweet alyssum, cosmos, and morning glory). Tonight we went to BJ's. Our membership runs out on the 31st and we don't plan on renewing it so we stocked up on tons of stuff. I also found lilies-of-the-valley at BJs of all places! They are my favorite flower but I never seem to have luck with them. Oh well, I will plant them tomorrow and see how it goes.

I heard Ian playing in the kitchen last night. I was next to him in the living room typing away on the computer. When I went to check on him I found that he had pulled out every plastic grocery bag we own and spread them out on the floor. I ran for the camera and then cleaned them up. I find that distraction is the best method for keeping him out of trouble at his age. I just turn on Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" and he starts jamming. Buck changed the lyrics from "Godzilla" to "Go Ian" so now he loves that song. Hey, it works for now!

2005-03-09T21:23:00.000-05:00

bags, bags, everywhere!

Maybe I will give it a try

2005-03-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

I was originally going to just put pictures of my son on this blog but perhaps I will write too. I feel so vunerable when I see my own words in print, like they are going to come back and bite me in the butt someday. I have always been the type of person who wants to be a peace keeper. I don't want to offend anyone or rile anyone up. Oh well, I guess I will just say what I think.

I am 27 years old, I have been married for almost 6 years to my wonderful husband Buck, and we have an almost one-year-old son (he'll be one on the 20th) named Ian Reed. I live in the southeastern part of the United States. I have a degree in forestry but I doubt I will ever use it. I wish I had gotten my degree in horticulture instead. I like to garden but I usually get overwhelmed by the weeds and all of my plans so my garden doesn't look the way I want it to. I am a stay-at-home-mom, I love to read, scrapbook, garden, and hang with my boys.

That's me for now.

2005-03-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

Ian on the couch

2005-01-28T22:36:00.000-05:00

Ian at 8.5 months